My Book Review from 2018

I made a reading goal in 2018 to read 12 books. I know, not that impressive, but hey, it's just not my top priority right now. It's a priority for me to continue learning, which I do by listening to podcasts, watching documentaries, etc but I really wanted to focus in on 12 good books this year.


So, here we go! (This is the order I read them in, not the order of which I would recommend.)

1. 365 Devotions Moments with God for Moms.

Whether you are a first-time mom of a newborn or a seasoned mom of a teenager, I think we all need some alone time with God and some daily encouragement. I really enjoyed this year-long devotion. I actually wrote in it most days, (there's not a space to write or anything, I just decided I wanted to write it in, so I made room!) I wrote down decisions I was having to make, mistakes I made that day, anything specific I was feeling, etc because I want to be able to go back later and read these things. I'm actually reading this one again this year, so I'm also excited to see the things I wrote that happened just a year ago. 

2. Famous in Heaven and at Home: A 31-Day Character Study for the Proverbs 31 Woman

HANDS DOWN, THE BEST BOOK I READ IN 2019! Here is the description because I will not be able to accurately do it justice. "As we dig into Proverbs 31 together, let's lay down our to-do lists and worldly expectations. Let's not overlook and undervalue what we can be certain He desires from our lives. Rather than just seeking something worthy to do, let's passionately pursue who God purposely created us to be. That's the heard behind this 30-day character study of the Provers 31 woman. Let's refuse to view this key chapter for women as an impossible job description. Instead, let's learn from this impressive character description we are only capable to reflect through God's divine power and matchless grace." Get your hands on this book and dive in!!

3. The Power of a Praying Wife

I really enjoyed this. I think there are several "praying for your spouse" books out there, so I would encourage you to get your hands on one. I think the big take-away is, pray over EVERYTHING for your spouse. Pray for his spiritual walk, for his emotions, his role as a leader whether at work or being the spiritual leader of your home, for his security in work, his physical and mental protection, his decisions, his finances, his faith and his future. 

4. 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid

Trevor and I both read this one and I'm glad we read it together. There were great key points and several things that we really agreed on that were discussed in this book. Several chapters had great take-aways for when our kiddos get older, so we will probably have to re-read it at some point. As a former teacher, this book spoke to me! More parents really need to read this book!!! So practical! 

5. The Esther Anointing

Hmmm...not my favorite. I love the story of Esther and how God can use anyone to make a huge difference, but I didn't love this book. I disagreed with some of the writing, it was hard to connect with and I didn't think some of the verses were meant for the context that they were placed. So, overall it was probably good for me. It made me research things I wouldn't normally research, it made me have stronger opinions in areas that I haven't had before and I learned several things on the other side but I will probably never read it again or recommend it to anyone. 

6. Parenting 14 Gospel Principles That Can Radically Change Your Family

PARENTS....GET YOUR HANDS ON THIS BOOK!!!! 

What is your calling as a parent? Do you ever feel pressure to do everything "right" and raise up "good" children? It's easy to lose sight of our ultimate purpose as parents in the quest for practical tips and guaranteed formulas. This is a big picture view of God's plan for us as parents. Instead of parenting strategies or a list of techniques, it shows how we need the rescuing grace of God. Grace that has the power to shape how we view everything we do as parents. We are more like our children than we want to admit sometimes! Ha! Here's a snippet: "Remember, your words and actions are always an accurate reflection of the true condition of your heart. The things you do and say always tell you more about yourself than whoever you're speaking to. God's grace rescues you from you. When you are frustrated, mad, discouraged, unkind, abusive, bitter, joyless, vengeful, or irritated as a parent, you don't need to be rescued from your children - you need to be rescued from you." In the years of having a toddler, there are SO MANY opportunities every day to talk to your children about the redemptive love of Jesus.

7. Raising Kingdom Kids

This was not my favorite read of the year. It had good, practical advice in it but I think I just read some home-runs this year and this one wasn't among my top picks. I also think this was geared more for parents with a little bit older kids. Here are some take-aways that I appreciated: You must create an atmosphere where your kids can maintain their identity in Jesus despite the culture around them. We cannot shelter them, but we can equip them. It's about influencing your children over trying to control them. Preparing our children and giving them the foundation of Jesus they need starts with us *parents.* Here is a line I LOVED: "Instructing your children in the Lord means spending time with them so they can see how you live out the gospel." Kids learn more from what you do than what you say!!

8. A Shepherd Looks at Psalm 23 

This was a super short and simple read, but I enjoyed it. It was thought provoking, and gave great insight into us, as the sheep, and Jesus, as the Good Shepherd. I think it will enrich your trust in and love for the Lord who watches closely over you. 

9. Present Over Perfect

I liked the premise of this book...considering your life and what it might look like to leave behind the pressure to be perfect and begin the life-changing practice of simply being present, in the middle of the mess and the ordinariness of life. But, I didn't love this book. I didn't connect with it like I thought I would. I don't think I struggle with the same things that the author did, so it was hard for me to really connect. I have my own list of struggles, don't get me wrong. Again, I liked the idea behind this book, but it missed the mark for me personally. 

10. Get Over Your Damn Self

I don't love the title! Ha! I picked up this book because I have entered into the world of network marketing (something I NEVER...like NEVER EVER saw myself in!) But hey, God had other plans. And I'm having a BLAST with it. This lady seems like she is a guru in direct sales and network marketing and I had/have a lot to learn. I can't say I agree with everything she said, mainly because I don't have the same goals as her, but I learned a lot in this book and most importantly, it built my confidence in what I am doing. It helped let go of the negative voice that we all have in the back of our mind sometimes. In her description of this book it says: "You're going to learn: 1. The posture to confidently connect with anyone about your business and your products 2. The possibilities for a lucrative, efficient and enormously rewarding turn key business 3. The power that's already within you to build the life you really want...if you dare." And she did deliver on those things!

11. Raising Men Not Boys

Calling all #boymoms! Get yourself a copy of this!!! Trevor and I listened to this one on audible and we loved it! Every single chapter we had several take-aways whether it was something we want to start now or things we want to save in our back pocket for later. This is a book that I want to read every year because it has such applicable information! I was going to type my favorite take-away from this book, but there are seriously so many! Okay, I think one of my favorites is "loud hour." Your boys have ENERGY and if you don't allow them to use it somewhere, they are going to use their energy during the "not appropriate" times. So give them opportunities every day to use that energy. We seriously started loud hour at our house. It's honestly super fun for us all. We drum on everything we can get our hands on, we turn music up way to loud, we sing at the top of our lungs and we dance! It's something I actually look forward to! HAHA!

12. The Call

This is not exactly a book, but I counted it as one because it took some time and there was a lot of reading! lol! The Call is a small group woman's study. It is about knowing who God is and what He has called us to do. I always enjoy these studies. Pick up your copy at a local Life.Church.

Well, there you have it! My 12 books for 12 months in 2018. I'm totally doing this again. I really enjoyed making this a priority and learning so much! Send any recommendations my way if you have any.

What's Your Word?

Each year Trevor and I pick a word for the year. Usually it's not us picking a word but somehow this word tends to find us. Ha! It is usually an area where we are lacking or an area that needs some attention in our walk with Christ.

I'm sure you have read 2 Corinthians 12:9-11...But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in my weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. FOR WHEN I AM WEAK, THEN I AM STRONG. 

I included that verse because I have been selecting a "word for the year" for 5 years now and it is powerful to see the growth, the sustainability, the once weakness but now finding strength and freedom in those areas. It is amazing what God can do through you when you give that area to him, confess your weakness and allow Him to take control.

So, I ask...what's your word for the year?

Here is how my word found me (and I'm being quite vulnerable here).
*Brooks is entering some terrible twos right now. There are these crazy emotional roller coasters over pretty much nothing (I cut his banana the wrong way, he asked me to make a bite smaller and when I did, it was too small, he wanted ice in his cup when he said no ice, he wanted the green cup and I gave him the orange cup, his brother is playing with a toy and all of a sudden he wants it and I say "wait until he's done," he wanted to be the one to open the door or shut the door, my list could go on and on! HA!) I usually handle the first 30 seconds with gentleness and understanding, but by the end of it, I wish I could go back and handle the situation differently. Sometimes it ends in a spanking, sometimes it ends with me losing my temper, sometimes I'm boiling, sometimes I'm CALM, cool and collected, but most of the time I'm just exhausted at the end. I need to be the CALM in the storm. He is learning to manage his emotions right now and when my emotions get out of control when his emotions are out of control, I'm basically shouting to him that in our family, we lose our cool when things don't go our way. I'm conveying the exact opposite of what I want to do! **Who knew parenting would showcase the sin in your life so much! HA!**
*I get overwhelmed pretty easily. I also started a business this year, the year that was supposed to be my year of stillness and no change, I started a business! HA! It took off way faster than I thought and when October, November and December rolled around...I was BUSY! What a BLESSING, I know! But it came at a time when I didn't know how to manage it all. (Still a work in progress over here!) At the end of the day, I was left feeling exhausted because I was so flustered trying to get everything accomplished which led to trying to multi-task when I shouldn't have been. I needed to take a step back, CALM the storm and ask God to help me use my time wisely.
*I stress about sleep. I used to stress about myself getting enough sleep, but that has now turned into stressing if my kids don't get enough sleep. Rhett is not the greatest sleeper. I'm not really complaining, he is a great sleeper, especially at night, but his naps are a different story. When he was younger I had to rock him (this was new, Brooks self-soothed super early) but even in my attempts to rock him, he would scream and flail until he just fell asleep. I would become super flustered and frustrated during that time. Eventually I turned on worship music and just sang him through that time. It worked...when I would remain CALM, things went more smooth (that's a duh! statement!) Rhett still has his battles with napping, but I need to remember to not stress and remain CALM during those trying days. We are currently trying to switch to one nap and it is not going well! I'm trying to whisper to myself, STAY CALM!
*I lost my temper on my mom a couple times this year (if your reading this mom, I'm sorry!) I still feel bad about it. Emotions were high, circumstances were really unfortunate, we both said hurtful things and I wish I could have remained CALM as I look back on those two instances. They both happened awhile ago, but they both still seem fresh in my mind.

Those are just a few examples of where I see this sin in my life. And at this point, you can probably guess my word! **CALM** I want to be the calm for my family. I want to be the good example for my son as he learns to navigate his own emotions, I want to be the calm when Trevor gets home from work knowing that what I need to do will get done with some focused work instead of attempting to multi-task all day long and not give 100% to anything. I want to go to bed with a sense of calmness surrounding my home.

I used to hate those sayings "Keep calm and XXX" but I might have to embrace it a little this year! HA!

Here are some verses that really spoke to me in regard to CALM:

Be still and know I am God! Psalm  46:10

When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness. Proverbs 31:26

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 46:10

For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self control. 2 Timothy 1:7

Don't sin by letting anger control you. For anger gives a foothold to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1


Last time I'll ask...what's your word for the year? When you lay down at night, do you think about your day? Is there an area that keeps you awake? Is there an area where you feel regret? Is a word just tugging on your heart right now? If not, pray about it. Matthew 7:7 Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Let me know your word for the year and we can help keep each other accountable. We can pray for each other, encourage each other and celebrate with each other. 

Beautiful vs Average

As many of you know, I am part of a mom's group and we meet weekly to have a bible study...and also to talk about our kiddos and keep from going crazy when things get hectic! ;) This is a lesson I taught on awhile ago and I have been meaning to share. It had been on my heart for awhile because I believe this is something that every woman struggles with at some point. Pastor Craig at Life.Church had taught several sermons on similar things, so this is kind of a combination of many of his sermons with a few added things. 

When this first was brought to my attention, it was during our 30 Second Theology series and this is the commercial that spoke to me that made me realize I need a change in thinking.

https://youtu.be/7DdM-4siaQw

*AFTER WATCHING THAT COMMERCIAL, ON A SCALE OF 1-10 HOW CONFIDENT ARE YOU ABOUT YOUR PHYSICAL APPEARANCE? (Which door would you have initially walked through and did your mind change by the end?)

It seems that talking about physical beauty isn't very spiritual because God looks at the heart, but I really think how we view our outward appearance is a reflection of what's on the inside and will eventually manifest on the outside. 

Garden Analogy: Your heart and mind are like a garden. You plan to fill your garden with flowers/vegetables (truth and how God sees you) but, it's inevitable that weeds will come eventually. Weeds don't provide any value, just like our degrading thoughts about our image. Think about weeds as those constant reoccurring thoughts. 

*WHAT ARE SOME OF YOUR REOCCURRING THOUGHTS? WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR FLAWS ARE/WHAT INSECURITIES COME TO MIND?

*WHERE DO YOU THINK YOUR INSECURITIES COME FROM?

*WHERE/WHO SHOULD WE FIND OUR SECURITY IN?

I would encourage everyone right now to find bible verses or biblical truths that combat that thinking that you can remind yourself of daily until these thoughts are gone. 

*WHAT PROBLEMS COULD THIS TYPE OF THINKING LEAD TO?

When I started thinking about this question is when I really realized how this was affecting me. Here are just a few areas that I believe this type of thinking causes: overspending on clothes, intimacy with spouse, relationship with God-angry you look this way, relationships with others-always feeling the need to compare.

*WHAT QUALITIES MAKE SOMEONE STAND OUT TO YOU? WHAT MAKES SOMEONE "BEAUTIFUL" TO YOU?

*WHY IS IT HARDER TO LOOK AT OURSELVES THAT WAY AND HOW CAN WE CHANGE OUR THINKING ABOUT OURSELVES? IS IT SOMETHING WE NEED TO DO PHYSICALLY OR MENTALLY?

As you start to think about these questions, here are some encouraging verses: 

“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Don’t judge by his appearance or height, for I have rejected him. The Lord doesn’t see things the way you see them. People judge by outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.””

‭‭1 Samuel‬ ‭16:7‬ ‭

“Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭3:3-4‬ ‭

“You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭139:13-14‬ ‭

“For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago.”

‭‭Ephesians‬ ‭2:10‬ 

*DOES YOUR PERCEPTION OF YOURSELF CAUSE YOU TO DO MORE OF WHAT YOU WERE MADE TO DO, OR LESS?

When I believe in myself and have confidence, I feel like I do everything a little better and take more ownership. 

Four thoughts:

GOD LOVES YOU DEEPLY (“But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners.”‭‭ Romans‬ ‭5:8‬)

GOD VALUES YOU HIGHLY (“See how very much our Father loves us, for he calls us his children, and that is what we are! But the people who belong to this world don’t recognize that we are God’s children because they don’t know him. Dear friends, we are already God’s children, but he has not yet shown us what we will be like when Christ appears. But we do know that we will be like him, for we will see him as he really is.”‭‭ 1 John‬ ‭3:1-2‬)

GOD PROVIDES FOR YOU FULLY (“And this same God who takes care of me will supply all your needs from his glorious riches, which have been given to us in Christ Jesus.” Philippians‬ ‭4:19‬)

GOD PLANNED YOU CAREFULLY (“Even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure.” Ephesians‬ ‭1:4-5‬)

Word for the year

A few years ago Life.Church did a sermon on finding a word for the year that you want to focus on. They probably did this way before Trevor and I started attending, but 2014 was our first year to do this. Since that time, we have kept up the tradition. We write or type up our words and they are hung in our bathroom as daily reminders.

Before I start in on my word for 2016, I want to reflect a bit on 2015. 

My word/verse for 2015 was Educate: Fear of the Lord is the foundation of wisdom, knowledge of the Holy One results in good judgement -Proverbs 9:10

I chose that word because I felt like a lot of my beliefs were just by word of mouth from my parents, friends, Lifegroup, etc and I wanted to have a head knowledge and foundation for myself. Not saying I never thought for myself, but I needed to go deeper. I needed to educate myself a little more before I felt like the Lord could really use me in a way that I felt confident. My one big goal for the year was to read/listen to the bible from cover to cover with Trevor. He did this the previous year as well, but we decided to do it together in 2015.  

I am proud to admit that we accomplished that goal. Honesty moment: There were definitely times I didn't feel like reading and there were definitely times when we were listening that I had no idea what on earth was going on, but we mustered through it. Most days it was really uplifting and I knew that we were on a journey together that would help us grow in our relationship with God and each other. I definitely learned so much and the discipline of reading every day was really fulfilling. It is definitely something I want to do again, but maybe break it down a little more, so I can study what I'm about to read first, and maybe grasp a little more understanding on the books I was once confused about. 

I love looking back and seeing the growth that this one goal had on myself and Trevor. 

2016:

My word/verse for the year is ACTION: Yes, just as you can identify a tree by it's fruit, so you can identify people by their actions -Matthew 7:20

In the past I have really had to pray about my word and really work to find the right fit for that year, but this word came to me weeks before the new year. I was leading worship at Switch, which is our Wednesday night youth ministry and we were doing a worship night. So instead of worship first and then their activity/message after, they were all mixed together. We were on stage the whole time so we got to hear different speakers throughout the evening. One of the pastors on our campus said something that really struck a chord with me. He said we need to turn our intention into action. I feel like I have good intentions a lot, but there are many times they stop there. I don't take that intention and turn it into action. Let me just lay out a couple instances. 

I usually get home from work before Trevor, there are so many days that when he walks in the door I think, I should get up and greet him with a hug, kiss, excitement to see him, but instead I stay put, say "hey, how was your day" and continue working on whatever I'm doing. Wow. Saying (typing) that out loud seems cold hearted. But I'm just trying to be real here. 

There are times when I have the intention or thought to reach out to someone, call someone or text someone to see how they are doing, especially if I know they are going through something tough, but I get too busy and forget. 

I go into a month having the intention to cook more, save money on eating out and make health a priority, but the convenience of just going out to eat takes over my brain and I don't cook, we go out to eat and make unhealthy choices. 

There are times when I have good intentions to discuss my faith with someone who needs to hear about Christ, but I chicken out because sometimes I don't think I have the right words to say, or they will have a question or have a defense that I won't know how to answer or combat. 

But these things stop January 1 because my word for the year is ACTION. I am turning my intentions into actions. 

In years past I have shared my word at the end of the year because I don't want to tell too many people just in case I fall short. But this year I wanted to be more transparent, share at the beginning, and make it a public goal. 

Here's to turning intentions into ACTIONS. 

Better is one day in Your courts

Better is one day in Your courts than thousands elsewhere. Those are the lyrics that have gotten me through today.

One of my dearest friends passed away on Christmas Eve and her funeral service was today. Trevor got off work so he could be with me and drive me to Lawton to say goodbye. 

Here was her obituary: 

Funeral service for Emily Chambers will be 2:00 p.m. Wednesday, December 30, 2015, in First Baptist Church with Rev. Tom Willoughby officiating.

Burial will follow in Flower Mound Cemetery under the direction of Becker-Rabon Funeral Home.

Emily died Thursday, December 24, 2015, in Omaha, Nebraska. She was born June 15, 1987 in Lawton, was a 2005 graduate of MacArthur High School and attended college for two years. Emily had worked in Branson, Missouri with the Shoji Tabuchi Show, the Red, Hot and Blue Show and the 50’s at the Hop Show. She also performed at Silver Dollar City in the Frontier Follies and A Wonderful Life. Emily then moved to Pigeon Forge, Tennessee and worked at Dollywood with the Gemtones and Christmas in the Smokies. Emily became an account representative with the Tulsa Oilers and at the time of her death was the marketing and suites manager for the University of Nebraska Omaha’s Baxter Arena.

Emily is well known for her involvement with the Lawton Community Theatre and her roles include: Gladys in Best Christmas Pageant Ever, Annie in both Annie and Annie Warbucks, Brigitta in Sound of Music, Lillian in Cheaper by the Dozen, Becky in The Homecoming, Sister Mary Paul (Amnesia) in Nuncrackers, Dorothy in Wizard of Oz and Denise Sanders in Smoke on the Mountain.

Her vocal accomplishments include Women’s Chorus Oklahoma All State, Oklahoma All State-Vocalist, Junior High National Choir and NATS – Freshman Year at Oklahoma City University.

She was a member of First Baptist Church and had been involved with the Tulsa Junior League. She also had served as an intern in the Oklahoma State House of Representatives.

She is survived by her mother, Brenda Chambers, Lawton; her father and his wife, Larry and Kimi Chambers, Lawton; two brothers and sisters in law, Jerod and Jennifer Chambers, Charlotte, North Carolina and Trey and Amista Chambers, Lawton; a step brother, Johnathon Loera and a step sister, Alexandria Loera; maternal grandmother, Velta Hair, Okemeh, Oklahoma; paternal grandparents, Wayne and Rose Chambers, Beggs, Oklahoma; nieces and nephews, Felicity, Fletcher, Finley and Crash Chambers.

Her maternal grandfather, Charles Hair, preceded her in death.

Memorial contributions may be made to the Lawton Community Theater, P.O. Box 42, Lawton, OK 73502.

Just from reading that you could tell that Emily was EXTREMELY talented and involved. Those things are all true, but it left out a few things. Emily would seriously brighten up a room when she walked in. She had an infectious laugh and a sense of humor that made you feel like you knew her for years even if you just met her. She was the best person to watch a movie with because she just laughed out loud at all of the good parts which made a movie seem better than it was at times. She was the best person to watch sports with because she would yell at the screen as much as all of the guys. She had a passion for life that was compelling. She had a heart made of gold! She always cared for others and put others before herself. She would drop anything to hang out. She put people and relationships first. She was the best puppy sitter and always cared for Winston as if he were her own. She was seriously BEAUTIFUL and had a smile that would brighten anyone's day! I could go on and on, but I will leave it at this. 

Emily, I would give anything to talk to you one last time. I would give anything to see one of your crazy Twitter posts again that make everyone laugh! Thank you for your unwavering friendship whether we lived a few miles from each other or states away. Thank you for sharing my love of McAlisters and Rib Crib sweet tea and Shania Twain...well, all country music for that matter! Your earthly time was brief, but I know that God put you in my life for a reason! You make me a better person. Thank you for the million and one laughs that we shared over who knows what! Heaven is lucky to receive an angel as beautiful as you! Winston wanted me to tell you that he loves you Auntie Em! I love you pretty girl and I will see you again one day!

How lovely is your dwelling place

Oh Lord Almighty

My soul longs and even faints for you

For here my heart is satisfied

Within your presence 

I sing beneath the shadow of your wings

Better is one day in your courts

Better is one day in your house

Better is one day in your courts

Than thousands elsewhere

One thing I ask and I would seek

To see your beauty

To find you in the place your glory dwells

My heart and flesh cry out

For You the living God

Your spirit's water for my soul

I've tasted and I've seen

Come once again to me

I will draw near to you

I will draw near to you

Better is one day in your courts

Better is one day in your house

Better is one day in your courts

Than thousands elsewhere

Forgiveness

"I knew I should just forgive them, but they didn't deserve my forgiveness."
"They aren't even worth forgiving."
"Forget them, I'm never speaking to them again."
"Well I told them I forgave them, but I bring it up often so they know I'm still hurt."

How many of us have said one or all of these things before?

A good friend of mine, Nichole, gave me a book to read because she said she really enjoyed the read. If you know Nichole, she is not much of a reader, so I know that if it kept her interest, I would probably enjoy it myself. (I love reading). It's called Calm My Anxious Heart by Linda Dillow. I highly suggest reading it, as it really offers good advice on how to live your life in contentment with good relationship with spouses, friends, family, God and yourself.

One of the chapters deals with forgiveness and it really tugged at my heart as I believe MANY people struggle with this, myself included. This is not a message I am trying to send to anyone in particular, it is just something that really interested me and I thought by writing about it, it will be a friendly reminder, if not to anyone but me, if I'm faced with this situation.
On many occasions I am with people, and to make conversation they are talking about a relationship that they are not content with. One or the other refuses to forgive, they are sorry for something but they don't know how to bring it up, the other person hurt them in some way and they are angry about it....the list goes on and on. In scripture, we must love, serve and encourage one another. This brings joy and happiness to life. Nothing is as wonderful as the love of a husband, friends and family. When you think about all of your relationships with those around you, are you happy with where every relationship stands right now? If not, what are you going to do about it?

In Matthew 18:21, Peter asked the Lord "how many times shall I forgive my brother when he sins against me? Up to seven times?" Jesus answered "I'll tell you not seven times, but seventy times seven." I do believe he was not suggesting 490 times but to keep forgiving as many times as it takes (which could be more than 490 times!). This is definitely easier said than done. After everything that Jesus went through, his last words on the cross were "Forgive them, for they know not what they do." I know that Jesus went through a lot more than I ever will and if he expects that of me, I can do my best to be Christ like and forgive.

There are probably many emotions holding you back from forgiving: hurt, betrayal, bitterness, anger, social status, pride, disappointment, insecurity, etc. How many of you feel bitterness or you can feel when there is a conflict with someone in your heart and it really bothers you? I know I get upset when something like this is bothering me. If affects my mood, my sleep, my attitude, and other relationships around me. Read Matthew 18:23-35 and it will explain why you feel like this. When you refuse to forgive, it's like being in a torture chamber - meaning intense inner torment (bitterness/heavy heart). So, by not forgiving, who are these emotions affecting? YOU! Who do they have hold of? YOU! Bitterness holds many of us captive and FORGIVENESS is the only escape. We must be willing to overlook imperfection as Jesus did. If I insist on perfection or nothing, I'll end up with nothing. Forgiveness is not an option. It might feel like an unnatural act, but it is the only option.

Your next question might be "How?" What I have learned and what I strive to do is make a conscience choice yearly, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly, whatever you need, to forgive. Even if you don't feel forgiving, forgive. If you do, you will get a sense of peace that you have done the right thing. Where do you think that peace comes from? God. Choose to please God! It's difficult to forgive, but continue to forgive even if the hurt keeps coming. You might be faced with reminders of the hurt down the road, and a great response that I read in Calm My Anxious Heart was " I remember distinctly forgetting it." This is saying that I remember choosing to forgive and I still choose to forgive. How powerful is that!

I have noticed (myself included) that we tend to talk about the people whom we aren't forgiving. We spend so much time and negative energy on not forgiving. The person we "aren't forgiving" probably isn't even fazed, they have probably already forgotten, so why do we spend so much time talking and dwelling on the negative. Maybe you aren't talking about it, but you think about it often, wouldn't it be wonderful to let go of that bitterness? Forgiveness will set you free!

Now your probably thinking "Okay, I'll forgive because God told me I had to, but I'm staying away from her/him from now on!" Is that really forgiving? Aren't you now spending more time avoiding that person than just living your life happily?

Just because you are a Christian or maybe you're not, you are just trying to be a good Samaritan doesn't mean you will never have pain or feel betrayal, it's all about how you respond. You can't control others, only yourself. I want to encourage anyone who is reading this to pursue peace in all relationships. Do not let anything stand in the way of forgiveness to others.

So I will leave you with Romans 12: 9-10, 14, 18

I know my blogs are usually very lighthearted, but like I said earlier, this really struck a chord with me, so I thought others could benefit from it to!
Happy Sunday!

Here is the book this was based on...